oh, i want this, the closure you keep behind locked doors and closed eyes.
i'm thinking you'll accept that i'm fine and i'm so sure you're justified.

He's telling me all the things
He predicts i will finish
either today or tonight
a sure fire way
to present all i'm making
i was told about a url
with very little html
the http
hasn't seen much of me
brand that day
with "starting again"
i used to think i'd want to read all about it
but i've found i've wanted none of it at all

driving back from southern georgian bay
it wasn't parry sound, and somehow close to say
it wasn't oastler rocky roads, it wasn't salmon lake
it was more like creemore and coldwater
maybe a lot more like maine
i was laughing at the radio
shaking my head at the same time
i knew that song so much better
then the second single
but at least they recognize

does your hand roll out the window?
with the wind and then sometimes, the rain
do you find the perfect radius
the perfect tension
an airplane

so when someone phones
it's back to the same song
i got over the pretense
i got over the airplay

but i'm really just a hypocrite
as some people would say
because where i'm going
no one knows of tpc
they've never heard about any lump sums
and they don't really know anything...

because if we ended everything with "..."
of saying more, uncertainty

sitting up in the morning
8:30 or 9
god, look at the time
i spent the night sleeping
but the dreams are back, right on time
such a quiet house
such worthless times
amongst my dreams
amongst my trials

come here, sit with me on my parent's bed
arms crossed and not a lot is said
something about letters, 52
one for every week
a collage upon your wall
i remember the word
cork board and under the overhang
of my shed, you asked what if we flew?

i closed the door, double locked the door
went back to bed and slept till 2

He also told me to talk to Los Angeles again.
He says she's better now.

But I just don't think she's okay.

when everything inside my eyes
lines up and "surprise!"
all of a sudden things are moving perfectly
in balancing rotation
back when all you wanted was comprehension
because habits and doubt caused immediate separation
like a bad play or fight scene

now that the dust has cleared
and the army's have moved on
i'm found trying to get ahead
and avoiding the cliches
telling myself not to worry
it's okay to be late for the needless

but they aren't all like that!

i know...
so i started going back

GOD is in my dreams, telling me about everything
you wouldn't believe the things he's saying!
you wouldn't believe the things he's explaining!
i saw how there used to be no sleep
i saw how there used to be no way
and now i've seen the years pass on by
you kept it as far away from your heart as possible
and i'm so, so sorry

wandering through starry skies
and when tomorrow's day arrives
i'll be a moment closer
to the brightest hour

failed attempts to rescue
apologies endless

oh god...

sick
no sleep
dreams
every night
of everyday
the same things
over
and over
more smoke
t3s
loraz
no dreams
deep sleep
a deep deep sleep
exist in every day
live only at night
i'm writing fiction
in the sunlight
about if i won the lottery

scale the stairs
i see through the glass on the front door
i recognize the hair and i bolt towards
the farthest place away
(i'd put myself in the kitchen)
heard his voice, her voice
combined
it was like a refrain
i used to sing
and i used to sing it all the time
so i'm pacing in the living room
my friend won't let them through the front door
she speaks the same as way back when
and i doubt she even noticed
the gravest face in the back of the house
all in the shadows, passing in and out
i was left standing, noticing
thoughts racing, connecting
the gears were turning
i had it all written down
in strips and stutters
in cells and cancers
in directionless letters

i've always fought this day by day
just like the archives
to view it as a whole
you'll find empty days
with such perplexing curiosity
my aims at avoiding all animosity
wavers with the times

i wanted it to be all boxed and hidden
i was livid with ideas of only my eyes

but

is there a better way to represent?
and edit this through out the day?

yeah i dunno, but it seems to me
that always, in time
there's been a will and there's been a way
no change, no sign

where do you go when you run away?
with no chance to hide?
and i dunno what it represents
but my hands are tied

i'm learning the new words

BLUE SKIES ALWAYS BRIGHTEN MY DAYS

when i wake up in the morning
i know it'll be the same
it's far too early to be getting up
i can't get on my way
and sure enough
i'm standing in a doorway
where i start to hear my name
all i'm wanting is to be leaving
the dreams are so draining

when i wake up in the morning
i like to think i rise with the sun
with all the people that have their act together
with all the ones who are busy trying
but now they're leaving for work and for school
and i'm left writing down my reasons
a list that i can't quite justify
but i'm fine tonight, maybe tomorrow
a faith restored from needless sorrow

i felt my head fall
i thought that nate ruess
had made a new album
and that it was going to save me all over again

sleeping in my own room
i dream about it every night
sleeping in foreign housing
dreaming that it never existed
and i'm searching for it in my dreams
it should be
it should be
right here
beside points a and points c

i need to document this. i smoke too much, i know. i need to get my shit together, i know.

i want the ending to be all drastic and reckless. like here, here take it from me! let go of all the baggage and write it all down. i need to finish it too, not just say i'll start it. no, no, leave it locked, leave it locked. if you open it you will see what you know you will see. you will feel the way you know you will feel. it will hurt you. so leave it locked. leave it alone.